I’ve been having a hard time coming up with adequate and CONSISTENT discipline ideas for my kids when they do something wrong.
Sometimes I just don’t feel like stopping the behavior and thinking up a punishment.
Other times I get TOO heavy handed (or too loud) because I’m frustrated/busy/etc.
So I stumbled across this thing called an “If/Then Chart” – which is basically If you do (insert bad behavior here), then you must (insert punishment here). You can also use scripture right alongside the consequences to reinforce WHY the behavior was bad and needs correction. You can google “if/then chart” and see about a million examples of this. This is something I NEED to implement.
Here are a few examples I’m going to use when I put my own together:
The most effective means of punishment in our home are time outs, loss of privileges, early bedtimes, extra chores, and spankings. So, let’s see if I can plug some of these in:
- Complaining about meals / refusing to eat = Dinner saved for when hungry, child excused to bedroom until family is done eating. Phil 2:14
- Disobedience = White paper from service jar. Eph 6:1
- Unkind speech / smart mouth = Vinegar on mouth for major offenses, isolation for (age of child) minutes for minor offenses. Proverbs 27:2
- Selfishness with toys/things = Loss of toy/thing for the rest of the day + 1 blue paper from service jar. 1 John 3:17
- Waking others up in the morning = 2 white papers from service jar. Proverbs 27:14
- Complete chores poorly or with a poor attitude = Loss of next privilege time + 1 white paper from service jar during that time. Proverbs 13:4
- Disrespectful behavior at church = Loss of next privilege time + 1 white paper from service jar during that time. Romans 1:21
- Disrespectful behavior during prayer time = Loss of family story time before bed (aka early bedtime). Romans 1:21
- Displays of anger / yelling in anger = Isolation for (age of child) minutes, standing in corner + look in eyes, apologize, and kiss on cheek for offended person. Proverbs 14:29
- Lying = Isolation for (age of child) minutes, standing in corner. Proverbs 12:22
- Not being kind = 1 act from service jar (blue or white depending on who was offended) Luke 6:35
- Having a proud attitude = Isolation for (age of child) minutes, standing in corner. Phil 2:3
- Refusing to play with others = Loss of next privilege time + 1 white paper from service jar during that time. Phil 2:4
- Not giving others a turn / being greedy = Loss of toy/thing for the rest of the day + 1 blue paper from service jar. 1 John 3:17
- Creating work for others / not picking up after yourself = Correct the wrongdoing + 1 white paper from service jar. Phil 2:3
- Having a bad attitude = Loss of family story time before bed (aka early bedtime). Eph 4:31
- Needless tattling = Isolation for (age of child) minutes, standing in corner. James 1:19
The service jar will be a jar I fill up with white and blue strips of paper. If the child offends a sibling, they’ll have to pick a blue slip of paper, which will have an act of service for a sibling listed. The white strips of paper will be acts of service for momma. I’ll link to another post about this when I write it up. (Proverbs 11:5)
Looking over this chart, there are still some things I need to put in place.
- I’ll need to explain what should be done when you’re the first person up in the morning.
- I still have to make a list of chores.
- I’ll have to explain further what a proud attitude is. My older knows about being proud, but she gets it confused with feeling pride in doing a job well done.
- I’ll have to explain the difference between just needing some alone time versus refusing to play with others.
- I’ll have to explain what is and isn’t appropriate for tattling. (I still have a hard time explaining this one myself!)
- I’ll have to lead with the Bible verses about the Golden Rule (Matt 7:12) and Obeying Parents (Eph 6:1, Ex 20:12).
There! I did it! I’ve only been thinking about this for MONTHS now. Now I just have to make the actual CHART and hang it up for all to see! :) Wish me luck on that!